ChemoCovid

I mainly wanted to get this all down in writing before I forget all the things that have happened over the past year. I got hired on with a great company and my professional life grew Everything in my life was great for a few months. Then the Covid pandemic hit. And then I had to start treatment for Leukemia (CLL). Those things were not so great.

I won’t talk a lot about my job here. But suffice to say I finally found a reputable company that valued my skills and put them to good use. I showed what I could accomplish and was rewarded for it. But after about six months with this company, the Leukemia my doctors had been monitoring for the past 6 years began to slowly attempt to overtake my body and the doctors recommended that I start treatment. Call it what you want, chemo, geno, some call it chemo-geno. The side effects were not fun but mostly manageable. And I will just leave it at that. But worse that the side effects were the effects of Covid – Which hit those venerable much worse that the general population. We were required to wear masks literally anytime we were near others. We social distanced, didn't travel by plane, and had to take even better care of ourselves than we had been. While others, during much of the pandemic, could socialize and at least dine with others outside, many of us were not just sheltered in our homes for the beginning of the pandemic, but for much of the time over the years that the pandemic was running through our communities.

In July of 2020, feeling extreme cabin fever, I set off in my car with my dog to continue section hiking on the Appalachian Trail. I had completed eighty miles from the start of the trail and had finished all of the State of Georgia. My plan was to start at mile eighty, go into North Carolina, and twenty-five miles that trip. I did six and had to quit. I know it sounds odd, but the Leukemia had been causing me sinus infections that wouldn’t really respond to treatment for the years after my diagnosis. And on the trail, I was having problems catching my breath. Yes, at altitude, anyone backpacking that lives at sea level struggles to acclimate. But there was no question for me. With the breathing problems and fatigue that comes with the condition, I retreated in failure.

Shortly after that, in May of 2021, I started treatment. And within a few months, I was back on the trail. And while my doctors would not allow me to overnight on the trail, I did day hikes with my sister that week and finished the 25 miles I started out to do on the last trip. I felt relatively good. And the following August, I returned to North Carolina and did an additional thirty miles. Yes, that included overnighting on the trail, with my doctors not really in agreement with that decision. But I took it slow and actually had my car stationed at the halfway point incase I needed to bug out.

It was rainy at times, the miles were difficult, I had to rest a lot and get plenty of sleep. But I did it. And then I was looking at just a few months before the year of treatment would be over in December 2020. So as I write this, it is September of 2021. And I am looking so forward to December. Hopefully the bone marrow biopsy will show I’m clear then and I can get back to really feeling great, hiking many more miles, and not needing to sleep ten to twelve hours a night.

But in this writing, I also wanted to touch on the pandemic and what it has meant to me. Yes, I have been sheltered, removed, depressed, feeling physically like shit at times, questioned the sanity of the world outside, and generally questions everything about the world and myself for over a year and a half. Now, I am looking forward to the future. But there is no denying there has been a great shift in our world and to ourselves during this time. And I just want to be sure I have documented what I have learned.

And that begins with family and friends. I have certainly realized that what my Grandfather said all his life – It’s about your “kin-folk” – Blood is thicker than water and we take care of each other. And for me, that included close friends that are also my family.

My family and friends can act crazy. And they can make me crazy. Yes, to the point I have to back away at times. But I have learned to not question the loyalties there. On my part or their’s.

I have also learned a lot about kindness, forgiveness and leaving the past behind. I have seen people over the past two year act unkind towards there fellow human beings. I have seen our world become completely polarized in many ways. And I’ve seen us ALL be manipulated by our leaders, the media, and each other into believing that we have much more uncommon with each other than in common. At first I believed all the rhetoric, lost my faith in a higher power and lost my faith in humanity. But a few key individuals showed me the light. Examples of level-headed thinking, trust, loyalty, acceptance, tolerance, love and compassion are all around us. I encourage us all to seek those instances out. Focus on the good. It’s always been there. I think we just got distracted.

I’m not saying we don’t stumble big time. I do. We are all so imperfect. I think probably the greatest lesson I have learned through these experiences over the past year is just to be a little more compassionate and forgiving. Not just to others but to ourselves. Going forward, I’m working on that. Good luck on your journey.